sherlockbringthejam:

kittenskaboodles:

ianthe:

headup-billybuddy:

the-future-mrs-solo:

whatheballs:

shavingryansprivates:

i hate the phrase “life is short” because life is literally the longest thing that any of us will ever experience

unless you experience my penis

I just choked on my food.

that’s not the only thing you’ll choke on

image

Don’t they usually put choking hazard warnings on really small things?

image

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vintage-kisses:

Sometimes I really don’t feel like existing like not in a suicidal way but I just wish there was a way of pausing life so that I could sleep for a few weeks and figure some stuff out and then not have to feel guilty for missing loads of stuff because really no time had passed at all

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